Here are tips that will help you do that!

1) Make sure you have identified one major accomplishment in your life by the time you’re 40.  Whether your achievements are with balance sheets or cookie sheets, whether you’re the mom of straight-A students in four consecutive grades, or the manager of 40 waiters as a four-star restaurant, a marketing professional or a supermarket cashier, you need to rally around something you know you do well, and others should know you do well. Think about a unique achievement you are proud of, and how you could rally that skill to reach and rise higher in your second act!

2) Identify a particular expertise you already have and master to the point where you can become an expert. Be aware of your special abilities and devote as much time as you can to them. Even if you’re not earning money from them, if they make you happy, do them. Practice them! Master them!

3) Seek out others who have similar interests and expertise in your area of focus. Universities and colleges, professional organizations, trade associations, nonprofits, networking groups and other communities, online and offline, are a haven for people who already are experts, want to become experts, or want to hang out experts!

4) Better yet, go back to college as a student. Community colleges and continuing/professional education divisions of major universities are filled with DARE-ING adults of all ages. These schools embrace adult learners, and even tailor career management programs for their specific needs. You can take online almost any course your heart and mind desire – at your own pace and place, in your pajamas if you want!

5) Check out resources like Vocation Vacations.  If you’ve always wanted to explore another job or career without risk to your current professional status or paycheck, have a look at www.vocationvacations.com. You’ll be paired up with a guide in your career of interest and explore different facets of that career via a no-risk test-drive. This is especially valuable if you’re not ready to risk a full-blown career change.

6) A gap year? People over 40 who’ve lost their jobs but are lucky to have received compensation packages, might want to consider a “gap year” to reflect, refresh and reinvigorate their lives. An excellent guide is: The Gap Year for Grown Ups, 3rd Edition: The Most Comprehensive, Practical Guide from the Leading Gap Year Specialist, by Susan Griffith (2009). Griffith covers it all, from the Reasons for doing it, such as: “…burn-out, turning 50, sensory overload, bereavement and depression, shaking out the cobwebs…”, to how to manage career and financial implications, and even logistics of Dealing with email and renting out your home if you go away.

7) Learn a foreign language or musical instrument. Later in life this is a great way to rally your brain, not to mention your social life, cultural appreciation and understanding of the larger world order. Languages like French, Italian and Spanish are at the root of many English words, so you might expand your vocabulary in multiple languages! According to many musicians, the piano is one of the easiest instruments to learn to play, and it is arguably one of the most enjoyable for people over 40. Especially for some of us in our 50s and 60s whose brains and eardrums have been addled by too much percussion in our youth.

Remember: While it might seem like a daunting task to try new things, especially new ways of expanding your intellect, and to rally to new heights now that you’re over 40, this is exactly the best time your life to do so! If you’re under the mistaken assumption that your best years are “behind” you, you really need to get over that!

DARE to think of all the ways and all the people with whom you can rally your expertise, and reach out there and rise!

Maybe you feel that once you’re 40 or 50 or 60, you’ve become a “subject expert” in so many things it would be hard to find, let alone select, any skills or topics you don’t know enough about from first-hand experience.

In fact, how you view and assimilate the experiences of your twenties and thirties in the second half of your life affects not only your continued personal development but your capacity to guide, coach, mentor, and teach others.

Before I decided to earn my MBA at New York University several years ago, I had worked in marketing services firms for twenty-five years, about half of that as a senior manager responsible for diverse teams of professionals.

There were fundamental lessons I couldn’t, didn’t, or wouldn’t absorb until I was in my forties, when I finally realized I still had a hell of a lot to learn, and it had little to do with becoming smarter about marketing or coming up with yet another so-called Big Idea.  I realized how much I could and needed to learn from the very people I was responsible for “managing “especially about how not to lead.

Guess which lessons were more rigorous? More humbling? More valuable?

Embracing the role of COACH, MENTOR, GUIDE, LEADER, TEACHER, or PATRON, formally or informally, so that others can learn from your experiences and develop their own Big Ideas, is a D A R E -ING move.

While it might seem that you’ve reached the pinnacle of your career because an org chart or your boss or your business card declares you the leader or chief something, not so fast (how about never?) do you become the Empress of Everyone.  The people above you, below you, around you, and in back of you (especially in back of you) will see to that.

They’ll DARE you to prove you’re worthy of their respect, admiration, and loyalty.

A couple of years ago, I entered a classroom at NYU once again, but at the front of the room as the instructor.  What I really want my students to learn about marketing is this:  The first brand they need to know how to market effectively is themselves, and that’s about more than just demonstrating their technical expertise or Big Ideas.

If they can’t with confidence and compassion convince a decision maker that they possess the personal empathy, experience, competence, and commitment to help him or her solve a problem that literally keeps him or her awake at night, they will never be able to interest the leader in their technical expertise or persuade the leader to buy into and champion their Big Ideas.

Almost anyone can get book-smart or tech-savvy or quant-driven.  It takes defeat plus determination, it takes humiliation as well as humility, it takes resolve and resilience, to deal with and DARE accept the fact that some of our worst experiences are also those that teach us so much we become experts.

And, who is more expert at that than women over 40?

DARE to figure out what you’re smarter at than anyone else. DARE to declare yourself an expert. DARE to guide others with what you’ve learned. And, DARE to admit what you don’t know but are willing to learn from the very people you DARE to LEAD or GUIDE or COUNSEL.

to figure out what you’re smarter at than anyone else. DARE to declare yourself an expert. DARE to guide others with what you’ve learned. And, DARE to admit what you don’t know but are willing to learn from the very people you DARE to LEAD or GUIDE or COUNSEL.

It’s really true that in order to be considered an expert in a subject, skill or topic, you have to have learned it so well that you could teach it.   I’m still learning, and I hope all of you are too.

In this blog-post, we are focusing on why it’s good for you and never too late to:

1) take up new physical activities,

2) engage in new social activities and

3) pursue new intellectual challenges that can make a positive difference in your well-being – for the short-run and in the years ahead.

If you happen to be job-hunting over the age of 40, after many years of being firmly entrenched in the same company, industry or location, you’re probably feeling that is a DARE-ing project in and of itself – which it is.  In that case, plant something new that takes care of your innermost self and boosts your confidence and sense of control while you’re grappling with change. Plant something that improves your physical health, ramps up your intellectual power and unleashes beneficial brain chemicals that contribute to your well-being. Here are just a few of the reasons experts advise you should plant new seeds now, especially if you’re dealing with added stress.

1.)  If Your Sneakers Are Moldy, Your Brain Will Get Oldie. A few years ago, the only weight I ever pushed around came from the sound of my own loud mouth. A year later, and dozens of pounds lost, I can attest that exercise saved my life, improved my well-being and enhanced my intellectual focus. Here’s why it would work for you:

• Dr. John Medina, a developmental molecular biologist, says in his book,  “Brain Rules,” that a lifetime of exercise can result in a sometimes astonishing elevation in cognitive performance, compared with those who are sedentary. Medina asserts that exercisers outperform couch potatoes in all sorts of brain metrics tests, such as those that measure long-term memory, reasoning, attention, problem-solving, even so-called fluid-intelligence tasks – which refers to how you put to use the information that you learn. One of the biggest surprises is that you don’t even have to exercise that long or hard to reap these benefits! Did you know that even walking several times a week will benefit your brain? The ideal is doing two to three bouts of aerobic exercise for at least 30 minutes – which can reduce your risk of Alzheimer’s by 60%!
• Exercise improves your mood because it stimulates the release of three feel good chemicals in your brain. Called neurotransmitters, their medical names are serotonin, dopamine and norepinephrine. By stimulating the release of these hormones, exercise has been proven to help lower depression and anxiety.  So, get out there and walk off the stress, or go for a bike ride, or – if you’re not the outdoorsy type – put on some music and dance like a fool in your own home.

2.)  If the only laugh lines you have are from watching late-night Seinfeld reruns on TBS, you need to get some real friends. When was the last time you had a conversation with a friend who made you laugh? More importantly, when was the last time you actually felt you could cry with a good friend who wouldn’t judge you?  If you don’t have friends like that, maybe now’s the time to consider going beyond your current circle of friends (or all those online LinkedIn connections.  Would you ever want any of them to see you with streaked mascara?  I didn’t think so.)

Additional tips:

• Be proactive about cultivating, engaging and caring about people you really want as friends, and weed out the ones who don’t feel that way about you. In this day and age it’s too easy to rationalize that there are many other things we need to be doing work- and family- wise rather than spending time with friends. Yet, connections with true friends and family members are what matters to our well-being.
• According to psychoanalyst, educator and author, Jean Shinoda Bolen, M.D., positive social interactions are a powerful mechanism for controlling stress. As women talk with other women about worrisome occurrences in their lives, their stress levels fall because oxytocin (the maternal friendship and bonding hormone) levels rise. Even during non-stressful times, having solid friendships has been proven to improve health and extend one’s lifespan.
• If you’ve been a mom for most of your adult life and your circle of friends is tied to your children, now might be the perfect time to expand your circle of friends. Getting involved in organizations other than your children’s school or church expands your perspectives.

 3.)  Unchain Your Brain, Train Against the Drain. Learning a new language, researching the competition before starting a company or learning to play a musical instrument are all exercises to unchain your brain. To plant or seed something new, challenging and fulfilling while waiting for the next big thing to take seed, it’s a good idea to engage in an activity that is not related to a work situation or family demand.

The following are a few reasons why:

• Taking up new intellectual activities stimulates different neural regions and develops new pathways within the brain.  This helps to re-energize the brain against the dreaded “brain-drain” many women complain about in middle age, and helps you see problems in a different light.  As Dr. John Medina writes in Brain Rules, “What you do and learn in life physically changes what your brain looks like – it literally rewires it.”
• The more you stimulate the neural regions and pathways, the more adept you become at the new skill or activity you’re learning. It’s that fluid intelligence thing again. One of the other major benefits of taking up new intellectual activities is that it increases your self-confidence that you can, indeed, learn new things.
• There are nine different kinds of intelligence, but most people neglect to explore, let alone develop, those outside their comfort zone. Conversely, we all know of artists, musicians, business-owners and scientists who did their best work after the age of 40, 50 or even 60.  By developing different facets of their intellectual capacity, they surpassed the creativity and productivity of their youth in ways they never would have DARED or imagined earlier in their lives.
• Those are just a few of the reasons why planting something new – physically, socially or intellectually – can be beneficial both in the short run and over the long haul, even in times of stress.  Next week, in Go DARE, we’ll provide a list of ideas for what to plant or seed. There’s no limit to why, what, where and how you can grow by DARE-ing yourself!

If that’s your urge, then take time, take stock and take care. Then, take action.

Are you energized about learning and doing something new and exciting with every coming year since you’ve turned 50?

Whether your response is a yelping “Yes!” a tentative “Well, maybe” or an anxious “Not really, but I know I have to, in some way at some point in the second half of your life, you will experience the natural desire or face a compelling need to rewire, reboot and resurge. The economic realities of the late 2000s eliminated the option of “No way” for most of us, because we will be working for longer than we ever thought. For most people that alone is “new and different.”

It’s not as impossible or untenable as it might seem. Whatever “camp” you’re in, I have good news for you: a rewire, reboot and resurge will absolutely power your life for the better. Just who am I to talk? In my early fifties, I was firmly in the “Yes!” camp of doing something new and different than my long career in marketing, only to embark on a series of soul-wrenching and workaholic career moves that challenged my overall physical, emotional and financial health. The experiences almost led me to believe that I couldn’t overcome even minor setbacks, let alone deal with bona fide crises. Making those career moves taught me a lot about resilience.

My resurge began in 2007, when I enrolled at New York University’s Stern School of Business to earn an MBA at age 55, graduating two years later, on my 57th birthday. Armed with extensive research I conducted while in business school, I started writing a book on how visionary, intelligent and motivated individuals over 40 drive and advance successful organizations, their careers, and their own personal development – despite the fact that many stereotypes cast midlife professionals as “over the hill” or “landing on a short runway.” Business school taught me how effective leaders get the right things done, not just by doing things better, but doing better things. Not coincidentally, I expanded my consulting practice to help other motivated individuals over 40 rewire, reboot and resurge. In the process, I’ve met and learned even more from other bold, brave people over 40 who are accomplishing more in the second half of their lives than they thought possible – even after great adversity.

Rebooting and resurging in midlife is necessary regardless of your calling, goals, stages, challenges, or roles – past or present. Whether managers or machinists; teachers or technicians; surgeons or salespersons; the fact is that all of us are CEOs – managers of our own lives. In carrying out our own mission and vision, we have much to learn from adapting sound business principles of good strategy (being effective), disciplined operations (being efficient with resources, especially time) and inspired leadership (managing ourselves and motivating others). We are all CEOs – with the “E” standing for enlightened, enriched and empowered.

Feeling the urge to rewire, reboot and resurge? Thinking “maybe”? Still in the “no way” camp?

Here are three Power Lines to get you going!

1. ) Whether your response is “Yesssss,” “maybe,” or “not really, but I know I have to,” you very well may experience a desire to do something different in the second half of your life. It requires taking the time to be thoughtful in figuring out what you really want; taking stock, so you lead with your strengths; and taking care, so you don’t compromise any aspects of your health. Then, develop an action plan to accomplish concrete goals and execute within a sensible timetable.

2. ) Figure out which “station” you’re in before you set a destination or route (i.e. your “strategy” for getting there). Here’s how:

If you answered “yes” and are looking forward to a new career, hobby, relocation, etc., but are not exactly sure what or how, then you’re ready for a first-class ticket on the rewired-not-expired express. You’re in good company: millions of people over 50 are determined to mash the myths, slam the stereotypes and bash the biases that people over 50 are “winding down.” Yay, you!

Your route/strategy: Focus on what you really want, figure out what or who is keeping you from getting there, and whether it’s your own diversions, distractions, or other time management issues that are stalling you. Then write down all the things you want to do – in the next five years, one year, six months, all the way down to the current month, week, day and even hours. It doesn’t mean you become a robotic efficiency slave; but, without plans and to-lists, the unimportant “dandruff” in your life (emails, Facebook, Internet overload) will consume you, and you’ll have no time or energy left for what will get you ahead. Focus on “a-head” and get the “dandruff” under control!

If your replies were more tentative “maybes,” today there’s an abundance of “maps” – reputable information, sound research, and credible advice about why it’s beneficial to start something new and different over 50, and how to deal with roadblocks. Many people who can’t or won’t get going on something new and different focus too much on their weaknesses and external obstacles. Laser in on your strengths – what you do well that you actually like to do. Strengths help you maximize opportunities.

Your route/strategy: Think about whether the pursuits you’re engaged in now are holdovers from the first half of your life. If you’ve already accomplished those earlier goals, then you really need to consider new pursuits. Either you regenerate, or you stagnate! Whether your new pursuits focus on personal goals, career transition, hobbies or community service, always be developing new ways to utilize your brain and maintain your physical health. The more you do physically, the better your brain performs, and a positive mindset accelerates exercise benefits, leading to more energy and more power over your choices.

If your reaction to rewiring, rebooting and resurging veer into the “no way but I really have no choice” zone, for you I have a special affinity and empathy. In this economy, financial and health challenges seem insurmountable. In fact, if you have to go back to work for the first time in many years, or you need to start work in a new career, new industry or new city, then it’s understandable that you’re stressing out. If you’re dealing with divorce, the death or prolonged illness of a spouse or partner, or your own illness, and the financial challenges of all these stressors, then you’re definitely overloaded. You may be too over-committed to sort out all the things you feel you have to do, let alone pursue new and different things you’d like to do.

Your route/strategy: You are the very person who needs not to rush into anything without first making a concerted commitment to build in private time to take care of yourself, so you also figure out what you really need and want, and what resources you need to help you. You have to make the time and effort to eat right and fit in exercise, even if it’s a short walk. You have to pay careful attention to your finances. Carve out quiet time, to journal, read, jot notes on index cards or on your smart-phone, meditate, pray, get a massage, a manicure or some other respite from your stress. You owe it to yourself and others who rely on you, to take that time. These are all coping mechanisms – for you they may be exactly the new and different things you need the most.

3. ) Dare to “arrive” at your final destination: create your own “Power Structure” and “Bottom Line” for the second half of your life. We all know that “power structure” usually refers to hierarchy in an organization. Your life has a hierarchy too – the Before, the Now and the Future. The Now and the Future should rule your own bottom line. Here’s an exercise I use in my workshops. Using one sheet of 8½ X 11 sheet of paper and a pen (computers and pencils make you think too hard and edit too much), write the following:

— a. Top half: Write ONE (1) sentence about what you dreamed, desired and were good at as a child (ages 10-18);

— b. In the same half: write ONE more sentence: what you dreamed, desired, achieved and were good between the ages of 20 and 40;

— c. In the bottom half and back of the page, write as much as you want on: 1) Your vision of the “perfect life” – when you look back in your 80s and 90s; 2) What you’re dealing with now that is keeping you from that perfect vision; 3) What you think you need to power up in your life – i.e., to rewire and reboot – so you can resurge and drive that vision to reality.

That exercise alone can help you see the many strengths you have and appreciate the opportunities before you, so you get going on your action plan.

Rewiring, rebooting and resurging help those of us over 50 to explore, examine and expand – creating new ideas, new insights, new solutions and new horizons. What energizes me is that the alternate route – to assume that I’ve “had a good run but now I’m ‘done’” – is so demoralizing I can’t even think about stopping now. Most likely, neither can you.

Yes? Maybe? No? Here’s what I dare you to believe: The power is yours. Use it or lose it. You are your own power station, in control of your own power structure. You are the only one who can take stock, take action and take charge of the rest of your life. You are the only one who can take care of your health, by making time to think, pray, read for inspiration, meditate, exercise and eat right. And, you are the only one who can take concerted action to make a plan, set concrete goals, get rid of the distracting “dandruff” that’s holding you back, access the right resources, stick to a schedule, and advance that plan to make the second half of your life even more powerful than the first. Think ahead – I DARE you!

Get DARE From Here!

Share Your DARES with us - and download a free chapter from my new book:

Get DARE From Here – 12 Principles and Practices for Women Over 40 to Take Stock, Take Action and Take Charge of the Rest Of Their Lives!

Fill in your email address in the box below, and you will then see a form to add your DARES.

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With the publication of my book, “Get DARE From Here” 12 Principles and Practices for Women Over 40 to Take Stock, Take Action and Take Charge of the Rest Of Their Lives,” I’m meeting even more women over 40 who are pursuing new DARES in their lives, while refusing to let the myths, biases, stereotypes or any other impediment get in their way.  In fact, many of the women I’ve met turned impediment to impetus, impetus to inspiration, and inspiration to instigation!

Over the next few months, we’re going to feature many of these women’s stories of DARE-ING over 40.

In the meantime, we want to learn more about how women over-40 across the U.S. plan to DRIVE, ADVANCE, RULE, and EXPRESS their EXPERIENCE and EXPERTISE in the next half of their lives.  To do that, we’re launching a “How DARE You -Over 40! Share Your DARES With Us Challenge.

To be clear, this is all about YOU, and your DARES for yourself, so we want to encourage AT LEAST 40,000 visionary, intelligent, motivated women over 40 across the U.S. to tell us how and what they want to DARE for themselves -in their personal lives, careers or a social cause they care about.   Need more impetus or inspiration or instigation of your own?  Read on!

A few months ago, The DARE-Force conducted a survey, with the question, “Over-40 Women -What’s Your Big DARE? The results were fascinating, especially because 85% said their big DARE was in their professional lives, 30% in their personal lives, and 23% said their big DARE was related to a social cause they cared about.  The big eye-opener -and heartbreaker -for me was the #1 reason our respondents said they could not pursue their Big DARE.  But first, here’s what they want to DARE:

1)      The majority of the participants said they are happy in their current romantic relationships, or at least are sure they won’t leave their partners anytime soon! 63% said they would not leave, while 18% said “I’d like to if it were not too scary” Hmmmm… so almost 20% of over-40 women would leave their current relationship if they were not too fearful of leaving?  Amazing!

2)      There was a fairly-even split on who wants to fall in love again: 30% said, “No Way!” but 38% said, “I’d love to.” All’s DARE in love and war – age be damned!

3)      38% said they’d love to go back to school: Yippee, do it, do it, just do it -you won’t be sorry! -and -

4)      A whopping 58% said they would love to start a non-profit. How wonderful is that!  The entire last chapter of my book, Chapter 12 -titled: “Exchange” is all about giving back!

5)      I also particularly love the fact that 38% of the participants would love to do something really DARE-ING, like skydiving, scuba diving, or mountain climbing!  Chapters 10 and 11 in the book are all about “If not now, when!”

So, here’s the heart-breaker:  When asked “What stops you from doing your Big DARE?”  a staggering 92% answered “money”   The heart-warming news for me is that the answer was not “age” or a refrain similar to “I’m too old”  No way is age an obstacle to most women over 40 who have the vision, intellect and motivation to DARE!

Regarding money, here’s some inspiration and instigation:  there are more resources than ever to help DARE-ING women over 40!  More than a few financial institutions have taken note of us, among them:  Charles Schwab Inc., whose marketing campaign is one of the most intelligent in any medium; Citi’s excellent Women & Co. portfolio of products and services (headed by a visionary, intelligent and motivated woman over 40 whose leadership has transformed the mission, vision and success of the unit); PNC Bank, which is one of the few banks that seem to really care about women, especially entrepreneurs; and a notable nonprofit, Women’s Institute for Financial Education, www.wife.org, also headed by two visionary, intelligent and motivated women over 40  who have done so much to help women of every age, persuasion and financial means, to take charge of their own financial security.

In previous blogs I have waxed on about going back to school (it was truly one of the best things I ever did, to go back and get my MBA from NYU), and I’m not wavering from that DARE to any woman over 40 who has the nerve to re-enter a classroom as a student. With the continuing weakened economy, and global demand for higher levels of skills and education, adults are re-enrolling in college campuses across the nation and online. The stats are compelling:[1] studies are showing that 75% of future jobs will most likely need some type of certification or licensure, and those professions that demand a BS or BA will grow 50% faster than the national average. So, a college degree looks more and more a necessity and a good investment.

By going back to school over the age of 40, if that’s one of your DARES, you’d be one of huge numbers: recent statistics from the U.S. Department of Education[2] are revealing that adult students are now the fastest growing demographic in the educational arena, with those numbers increasing steadily. Boosting existing skills, or coalescing the experience and expertise you already have via an academic certification or graduate degree will also help boost your confidence as well as your competence.

We Baby Boomers know we’ll be living longer, and we demand more from our lives -from both our personal and professional pursuits.  We want fulfillment, not just a job. More DARE-ING women aged 55 to 79 are deciding what they want to do in the next few decades, and not all of them want to go on cruises or daily frolics on a golf course (not that there’s anything wrong with that!). A report from The American Council on Education, entitled, Framing New Terrain: Older Adults & Higher Education, shows that more and more, older adults are returning to college in record numbers, and they are DARE-ING to pursue new career ideas, start new businesses, and pursue other fulfilling lifelong dreams.

So, there -or DARE! -you have it!  Despite age, money, or any other factor that in previous generations might have been an impediment, women who DARE today consider an impediment an impetus!  Join us!  We want to know more about how women over 40 plan to DRIVE, ADVANCE, RULE and EXPRESS their EXPERIENCE and EXPERTISE over the next few months, the next few years, and in coming decades. Become a part of The DARE-Force’s  “How DARE You -Over 40! Share Your DARES With Us” Challenge!  We want to encourage AT LEAST 40,000 women over 40 across the U.S. to tell us how they DARE, what they want to DARE, where and when they want to DARE.   (If you want your DARE kept confidential, please indicate that in your message to us.) In a few months, we hope to have a lot of DARES to Share with other visionary, intelligent and motivated women over 40.      

DARE-ingly Yours,

Liz DiMarco Weinmann

Founder & CEO

The DARE-Force Corporation