Others refer to, in order of priority, topics more or less snarky or snide:

1) Why in the world would you want to go to graduate school in your fifties – you must have felt so frigging old next to all those brainy engineers and buff babes;

2) If only I could leave my:

   a) marriage;

   b) boyfriend;

   c) girlfriend;

   d) job;

 and

 3) Come on, be honest: your book photo:

   a) was touched up so the lines disappeared;

   b) was taken 15 pounds ago, right?;

   c) is so brazen, why would you let your hair go gray like that?

Let’s deal with the Empty Nest questions -where I can really be useful.  Your kids are in school, you’re either working too much or stuck at home. Five work days (or school days, your choice), five tips. Here you go. Don’t say I wasn’t DARE for you! 

5 Tips to Turn that Empty Nest Into Your Personal BEST

(And Quit Your Constant Bitch-Fest!)

1. Make sure you appreciate your whole DEAL. Your strengths and opportunities most likely far outweigh your weaknesses and threats. Don’t focus on what you can’t change! Focus on what you can improve, enhance, empower, and/or highlight as a positive!
2. ACCESS & APPROACH people from different walks of life, geographies, ages, persuasions – you get the picture. Whether you’re wallflower-shy or the life of the party, you have to make new friends. Make a plan, make it happen, don’t go it alone!  If you want to do something really new, different and DARE-ING, get out of your comfort zone and go on Facebook, LinkedIn for sure, but at some point, get out of those sweatpants and out the door. In the morning, at lunch time, after dinner. Join a Meetup Group. Hell, join US and find out where we’re doing our own DARE-Salons for women just like you!
3. At some point, all the Dreaming and Desiring and Dealing and Designing and Aiming and Accessing (Phew) in the world need to give way to ACTION! ACT on something – today, in an hour, in a few hours. A to-do list is no good if it’s just a list with nothing crossed off. Turn your to-do into TA-DA! ACT up, ACT out, get into the ACT. Do something today to ADVANCE your Plan
4. Sure we women over 40 have a lot to RANT, RAVE or REBEL about -what do you mean, you don’t?! The economy sucks, Obama is campaigning to save his job instead of finding us jobs, and Mitt Romney needs to be turning Rick Perry into toast rather than tweeting about much he loves Carl’s Junior.  So, either find a way in your own community to change something that makes you mad, or Rave about something that can make you glad. Don’t just sit there! Rebel! Join the movement, join the revolution, join the party. Some of the most powerful social movements in history were started by women over 40 who were mad as hell. Some of the most powerful nonprofits in the world today are headed up by women over 40 who help millions. Even if you’re not so inclined, just join the gym to work off a lot of that pent-up energy. Do something that will help you exercise and exorcise all that pent up ranting, raving, roaring and rebelling for your own good! Who knows, you might come up with the Next Big Idea for a Rant or a Rave.
5. Not so much angry or energized enough to rant and rave? Then, EXHIBIT in some other way! How about a retreat into art, writing, music, photography, poetry, blogging, decorating, studying, reading the great works of literature and putting your own spin on them? What if you liked one or several of those so much you took courses in them, majored in them, got a degree in them (one of them is all you need!)?  One of the questions I get the most from women over 40 is “how do you keep the energy going? Well, you know what it’s like when you’re so engaged in something that you lose track of time, hunger, thirst, your own B.O. because you haven’t showered in twelve hours??!!  You don’t??? Well, maybe it’s time you should.

Get into it. Get on with it. Get out of your rut. Get out of life what you put into it -Drive it, Advance it, Rule it, Express it. Get DARE From Here! 

Design Guru Emanuela Frattini Magnusson

Our first profile is of DARE-ING Design Guru Emanuela Frattini Magnusson, who’s racked up accomplishments in her life as a wife, mother, architect, designer (efmdesign.com) and founder/CEO of her own high-style accessories line, Manu (www.manumanu.com), which designs and produces luxury leather goods in glorious colors and sensuous fabrics, such as pony. 

 As is often the case with many hyper-accomplished women over 40 like Magnusson, she was almost reticent to talk about her many achievements, and finds the term “super-woman”  “nauseating.”  On the DARE spectrum of visionary, intelligent and motivated women over 40, Magnusson – wife, mother, architect, designer, entrepreneur, philanthropist, teacher – is definitely the RULER of her own platform.   DARE-ING Women Over 40 who want to be inspired – rather than intimidated or infuriated – by a true DARE-ING achiever, read on.

#1 – DREAMS & DESIRES  – Over 40

“I had always wanted to be in design.  I was surrounded by it all my life, so it was not just a job to me.  My father was an architect, so I would often go with him to his office, which was filled with boxes of paper, crayons, pencils; to me, all items of play, not work.”   Magnusson went on to study at the Politecnico di Milano, laying the groundwork for the design sensibility that has informed her work since she began her architecture and design career in 1985.  As her career flourished, her DREAMS & DESIRES became more focused on the key financial and strategic drivers of her business, and in 2009, Magnusson earned her MBA from New York University’s Stern School of Business.

#2 – DEAL – Over 40

Having been born, raised and educated in Italy, with a strong Italian aesthetic for design, “whether for a spoon or a building,” Magnusson asserts, she then had to DEAL with a somewhat different sensibility in the U.S., where architecture is governed by more regulations, and is a more technical rather than aesthetic endeavor.  As her career flourished, Magnusson has also had to DEAL with the universal dilemma of all accomplished women who have many other roles and responsibilities besides career:  There is the “constant struggle,” she says, “that I could be a better mother, or designer, or whatever the issue is that day.”  In her business DEALS, she also echoes the advice given to many entrepreneurs – whether they are in start-ups or established businesses.  “Choose business partners wisely, it is like a marriage.” 

#3 – DESIGN – Over 40

Obviously one would expect that a designer/artist and businesswoman of the caliber of Magnusson would have a grand DESIGN for her own life, and she does.  She always knew she wanted to work in an artistic and commercial endeavor, and once her children grew older, she realized that enhancing her architecture training with formal and rigorous business education would be even more advantageous.  Magnusson is a passionate proponent of what is known as “DESIGN Thinking” – which refers to a process of investigating problems, whether specific or of indeterminate nature, obtaining necessary information, analyzing the knowledge, and hypothesizing possible solutions.  One of her laments is the business world’s invalidation at times of the so-called “soft” or intuitive side of the brain, whereas DESIGN Thinking relies heavily on empathy for context in problem identification, creativity in generating insights and possible solutions, and then the rational analytical side of the brain to properly assess the solution options.  DESIGN Thinking is absolutely beneficial to any visionary, intelligent and motivated woman over 40, as it exercises both sides of the brain: emotional and intellectual. 

#4 – AIMS – Over 40

Magnusson, as one might imagine, is a strong goal setter.  She is a consummate juggler, high-energy, highly curious and, as such, is always seeking new knowledge, especially when it comes to inspiring designs. 

#5 – ACCESS & APPROACH 

Magnusson deftly manages her ACCESS & APPROACH strategically, seeking individuals and experts that offer complementary skills to assist her in achieving her Aims.   While at Stern, she sought out professors as well as classmates, sharing in turn her own philosophies, insights, analysis and solution options.

#6 – ACT

Magnussen is a consummate take-action type of leader.  For example, while she recognizes and values market research, especially in designing and specifying for a product, service or audience, she also knows that the old adage of “analysis is paralysis” can take some decision-makers hostage, until the idea is no longer relevant.  Most creative, intuitive people learn early on how to trust their instincts, but MBAs tend to want to over-analyze.  As Magnusson says: “Ignorance is sometimes better than courage.  Of course we must have courage, but at some point, we must ACT.” 

#7 – REASON – Over 40

Magnusson possesses a strong work ethic and feels that architecture and design are “positive professions.”  She is energized “to be making a contribution to beauty in the world” and adds, “This is a mission, a passion, not just a job.”    She prefers to work with people who share her views of sensitivity, empathy, collaboration and respect.  “I don’t understand ‘sharks’ or this obsession for walking over dead bodies” – her reference for individuals who are driven to succeed even at the expense of others.    

#8 – RALLY, REACH & RISE – Over 40

When asked about the colleagues, mentors, clients and customers who women over 40 should seek out to help them RALLY, REACH & RISE, Magnusson has very specific and compelling advice.  “Always identify and seek out the true decision makers, because they are the ones who will assume the risk with you and champion your strategy, insights or innovative ideas that are new to the organization.  If you are not working with the decision maker of an organization, you are the one assuming the most risk for your ideas,” she cautions.

#9 – RANT RAVE – Over 40

Magnusson wants to see a renewed appreciation for the arts to be taught to young children and teenagers, as part of fostering the Design Thinking methodology of innovation and effective idea generation.    As with many creative artists who then pursue more quantitative perspectives, Magnusson finds that an excessive emphasis on quantitative while almost negating the intuitive and qualitative, is the reason why many leaders fail.  “Many managers who are trained in business school to focus solely on the quantitative have difficulty with leading people to work together for a common cause.”  

#10 – EMBRACE – Over 40

Magnusson takes time out for her well-being by turning off work as much as possible when she is away from work, especially on vacations with her family.  She acknowledges that this takes extra organizing and urgency to get it all done, but the serenity to be able to EMBRACE free time away is worth it. “I button up work so I am not not having to constantly log on, check emails and work while I am away.  I love the whole sensory experience – being from Italy, I love the ocean, jasmine, rosemary, everything about the beach and its surroundings.  

#11 – EXHIBIT - Over 40

Magnusson designed her own website, without the use of a PR firm or ad agency.  It is a very beautiful site, very evocative of her style and design sensibilities, very warm and inviting.  She is excellent at branding, without being ostentatious.  She is gorgeous, without being threatening.  Stylish, slim, and really understands the power of her presence, in a good way.  Relative to her literal EXHIBITS, she has built commercial residential and retail projects and has been visiting faculty at Yale and Parsons School of Design.  She has been widely published and has received several industry awards for her designs.    

#12 – EXCHANGE – Over 40

Magnussen’s passion for inculcating a passion for the arts at a very young age is exemplified by the way she EXCHANGES her talents and other resources through a program called Operation Design, which she initiated through a partnership with Maloney & Fox Public Relations and the International Contemporary Furniture Fair.  The organization’s website describes its work as follows:  Operation Design offers students direct interaction with professionals and challenges young people in public schools – from kindergarten through 12^th grade – to put their creativity to practical, important and real use.  

Operation Design is the perfect metaphor and fitting descriptor of Magnusson’s entire DARE-ING philosophy, and shining example of her passion for Design Thinking, since it promotes innovative problem solving among young students, so that at some point they can learn to solve business problems that are not intrinsically design oriented, but which employ the qualitative, creative, and intuitive talents that Magnusson has developed, perfected and EXCHANGED her entire career, and throughout her life.

In previous blogs I have talked about going back to school (it was truly one of the best things I ever did, to go back and get my MBA from NYU!) With the continuing weakened economy, and global demand for higher levels of skills and education, adults are re-enrolling in college campuses across the nation and online. The stats are convincing:[1] studies are showing that 75% of future jobs will most likely need some type of certification or licensure, and those professions that demand a BS or BA will grow 50% faster than the national average. So a college degree looks more and more a necessity and a good investment.

You think, go back to school- not at my age! But by going back, you’d be one of huge numbers: recent statistics from the U.S. Department of Education[2] are revealing that adult students are now the fastest growing demographic in the educational arena, with those numbers increasing steadily.

Baby Boomers know they will be living longer, and demand more from their lives. They want fulfillment, not just a job. More DARE-ing women aged 55 to 79 are deciding what they want to do in their next years. A report from The American Council on Education, entitled, Framing New Terrain: Older Adults & Higher Education, shows more that with older adults returning to college in record numbers, they are DARE-ing to pursue new career ideas, found new businesses, and create their lifelong dreams.

DARE MUSCLE: go back to school with your learning MUSCLE!

Liz Claiborne: Super DARE-ing Woman!

I am so excited that my book is about to be published at the end of the month, hopefully in time for my birthday on June 19^th.

Entitled appropriately “Get DARE From Here™!” it the result of much research into the desires and achievements of women over 40 in our culture─ our dreams, motivations, and issues. In my research I came across inspiring stories of exceptionally passionate women over 40, some obscure, some famous, but they all had powerful traits in common. They all bravely applied their energy and leadership to empower themselves and their families, the companies where they worked, and their surrounding communities and society at large. A few good examples are Jean Nidetch (founder of Weight Watchers), Mary Kay Ash, Liz Claiborne, Julia Child, and you may know many more.

From the model set by over-40 women such as these, I devised the  DARE system, laid out in my new book,  to inspire, guide and challenge all you brainy, gutsy, passionate women over 40 who crave or need to pursue, develop, or lead something more fulfilling in your personal lives, careers, or communities.

You can Get DARE From Hereâ„¢!

Today’s blog is a CALL TO ACTION! What we would like is for you wonderful women over 40 to write to us, as a comment, and share with us your DARES. I have shared with you some DARE-ING examples from our May 6^th workshop at NYU, and now we’d love to hear from you.  What have you DARE-D to do in your life, your business, or your community?

Looking forward to hearing your DARES and TRIUMPHS!