Turn that Empty Nest Into Your Personal BEST!

In making the rounds to promote my book, Get DARE From Here!,  I am enjoying the positive feedback from media and readers alike. Many of the questions and comments I receive relate to the Empty Nest.

Others refer to, in order of priority, topics more or less snarky or snide:

1) Why in the world would you want to go to graduate school in your fifties – you must have felt so frigging old next to all those brainy engineers and buff babes;

2) If only I could leave my:

   a) marriage;

   b) boyfriend;

   c) girlfriend;

   d) job;


 3) Come on, be honest: your book photo:

   a) was touched up so the lines disappeared;

   b) was taken 15 pounds ago, right?;

   c) is so brazen, why would you let your hair go gray like that?

Let’s deal with the Empty Nest questions -where I can really be useful.  Your kids are in school, you’re either working too much or stuck at home. Five work days (or school days, your choice), five tips. Here you go. Don’t say I wasn’t DARE for you! 

5 Tips to Turn that Empty Nest Into Your Personal BEST

(And Quit Your Constant Bitch-Fest!)

    1. Make sure you appreciate your whole DEAL. Your strengths and opportunities most likely far outweigh your weaknesses and threats. Don’t focus on what you can’t change! Focus on what you can improve, enhance, empower, and/or highlight as a positive!
    2. ACCESS & APPROACH people from different walks of life, geographies, ages, persuasions – you get the picture. Whether you’re wallflower-shy or the life of the party, you have to make new friends. Make a plan, make it happen, don’t go it alone!  If you want to do something really new, different and DARE-ING, get out of your comfort zone and go on Facebook, LinkedIn for sure, but at some point, get out of those sweatpants and out the door. In the morning, at lunch time, after dinner. Join a Meetup Group. Hell, join US and find out where we’re doing our own DARE-Salons for women just like you!
    3. At some point, all the Dreaming and Desiring and Dealing and Designing and Aiming and Accessing (Phew) in the world need to give way to ACTION! ACT on something – today, in an hour, in a few hours. A to-do list is no good if it’s just a list with nothing crossed off. Turn your to-do into TA-DA! ACT up, ACT out, get into the ACT. Do something today to ADVANCE your Plan
    4. Sure we women over 40 have a lot to RANT, RAVE or REBEL about -what do you mean, you don’t?! The economy sucks, Obama is campaigning to save his job instead of finding us jobs, and Mitt Romney needs to be turning Rick Perry into toast rather than tweeting about much he loves Carl’s Junior.  So, either find a way in your own community to change something that makes you mad, or Rave about something that can make you glad. Don’t just sit there! Rebel! Join the movement, join the revolution, join the party. Some of the most powerful social movements in history were started by women over 40 who were mad as hell. Some of the most powerful nonprofits in the world today are headed up by women over 40 who help millions. Even if you’re not so inclined, just join the gym to work off a lot of that pent-up energy. Do something that will help you exercise and exorcise all that pent up ranting, raving, roaring and rebelling for your own good! Who knows, you might come up with the Next Big Idea for a Rant or a Rave.
    5. Not so much angry or energized enough to rant and rave? Then, EXHIBIT in some other way! How about a retreat into art, writing, music, photography, poetry, blogging, decorating, studying, reading the great works of literature and putting your own spin on them? What if you liked one or several of those so much you took courses in them, majored in them, got a degree in them (one of them is all you need!)?  One of the questions I get the most from women over 40 is “how do you keep the energy going? Well, you know what it’s like when you’re so engaged in something that you lose track of time, hunger, thirst, your own B.O. because you haven’t showered in twelve hours??!!  You don’t??? Well, maybe it’s time you should.

Get into it. Get on with it. Get out of your rut. Get out of life what you put into it -Drive it, Advance it, Rule it, Express it. Get DARE From Here!