So many visionary, intelligent, motivated women over 40 become obsessive about perfection, especially when it involves our jobs, careers, and other artistic pursuits. We obsess about perfecting that article that is long overdue, or honing a piece of sculpture, a painting or a recipe to the point that the original inspiration has been blunted. Or, we revise a business plan to the point where we are dangerously late for a banker’s deadline. As brilliant author Seth Godin urges us, at some point you just have to SHIP!
Many women over 40 are experts at hanging in there, being a little more patient, understanding, and compassionate, for that elusive dream that doesn’t materialize.
‘The bigger contract will come, if I just make just these few more edits she asked for or if I come through again as the hero in this next crunch period.”
Or, how about: “Why not just move in and help him take care of his grown children, and his mother, and his laundry, after all, it’s only temporary.”
Or, the one I hear a lot from my New York area friends: “Why invest any more money in improving this dumpy house in the suburbs when I know the market will turn around soon in Manhattan?”
At some point, your longing for perfection (or even just contentment) in a relationship, project, or job starts to impact your mental or physical health to the point where you are so repressed, depressed or stressed you can’t function. So, maybe the best thing would be to Whip it, Zip it and Ship it!
The point is: if your lingering endeavor has you feeling that it will never be right or get done, then Would Have, Could Have, Should Have and Didn’t could be your very own party pals come this New Year’s Eve. You and they will be commiserating in the Dungeon of Didn’t, along with those nasty pity-party crashers: Missed, Pissed and Dissed. These guys are the three ghosts of opportunities lost because we pursue or hold on to people, things and places for longer than they benefit our well-being.
Here are three things I’ve learned in the business world and applied to my own life when I knew I was headed for the “Dungeon of Didn’t” if I didn’t Whip it, Zip it and SHIP it! Maybe they can help you to get unstuck right now:
(1) Whip it! Set and prioritize definitive goals, plus deadlines and timetables for completion of a particular project, task or dream in your life. If everything is a priority, then nothing is.
(2) Zip it! Become as productive and efficient as you possibly can, but also identify resources (friends, family, other help) you can depend on. Decide what you absolutely cannot or will not do so that you CAN do something that is really important to you.
(3) SHIP it out! Create a sense of urgency for yourself, and make yourself the toughest taskmaster you have ever faced! If your family or boss or someone else in your life were depending on you to SHIP, surely you would find a way and make the time to SHIP! Think of all the really great things that will happen once you SHIP, and all the great things you don’t even know about or that are on hold because you have not SHIPPED.
Some women, myself included, find that fear is a great motivator, and really effective. When I decided to lose 25 pounds for my health, I made myself envision all the bad things that would happen if I didn’t lose the weight. (I literally told myself: “Be afraid. Be very afraid.”) Even though I also placed signs around my house with my ideal goal weight written on them, the great motivator was fear. Not only did I lose those 25 pounds “ I lost 35 more! So, if you’re like me, and it works for you, tell yourself all the bad things that will happen if you don’t SHIP! That will get you moving!
And if you are really stuck, and anguishing, consider a therapist. Hey, I’m just an MBA here, but even the most optimistic and empowering mental health professional will help you conclude that maybe you’ve given it all you’ve got to give. I have benefitted from qualified counselors when I needed help to move on from unhealthy procrastinating or waiting for toxic people and demoralizing situations to change all by themselves. With a little help, at some point you realize that YOU are the one who has to Whip it, Zip it and Ship it!
Then you will Get DARE from Here™!
© The DARE-Force Corporation, 2011.
Check out Liz Weinmann’s book, Get DARE from Here™! – 12 Principles and Practices for Women Over 40 to Take Stock, Take Action and Take Charge of the Rest of Their Lives, by Liz DiMarco Weinmann, MBA. All rights reserved.
All of the content on this website and in the other content-driven products and services of The DARE-Force Corporation are based on sound business principles and practices of strategy, operations, leadership and marketing, and on current and emerging trends in those referenced business principles and practices. None of the content on this website, nor in the other content-driven products and services of The DARE-Force Corporation, are intended to be, nor should they be, perceived as, practiced as, or applied as, counsel, diagnosis, or treatment for any implicit or explicit mental, emotional or physical health conditions.